


Transcendental Meditation

by sistercacao



Series: Love is the Drug [1]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-10
Updated: 2007-10-10
Packaged: 2019-03-07 03:11:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13425522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sistercacao/pseuds/sistercacao
Summary: Heero is minding his own business until the loudmouth next door decides to pay him a special visit.





	Transcendental Meditation

Duo Maxwell from the room down the hall staggered through my door like it was the most natural thing in the world. No matter that the door had been closed, no matter that I hadn’t invited him over. Duo Maxwell only plays by rules he has decided on for himself.

He had the kind of grin on his face that warned of trouble to come. Initially, he didn’t say a word to me, just strolled right in and made himself comfortable on my bed, kicking his long legs out in front of him. His braid, ever the accomplice, spilled out across the pillow behind him. There he was, silent (for once) and lying on my bed without permission and nevertheless looking like he had every right to be doing just that.

What are you doing in my room? I wanted to say. Can’t you see I’m writing a paper? But I stopped myself. All Duo wanted was for me to pay attention to him. Therefore, if I ignored him, I reasoned, he would undoubtedly get bored and leave me be. This had worked pretty well in the past. I didn’t know much about Duo Maxwell, other than that he was a sophomore from Pennsylvania and he liked to blast terrible thrash metal at three in the morning on week nights, but I did know he had the attention span of a third grader (and the same maturity level). I figured this distraction would last only a couple of minutes if I simply let him be.

I turned my back to Duo and placed my fingers once again over the laptop keys. There was a rustle of movement from my bed, then a long, dramatic sigh.

“Heeeeerrrroooo.”

What the hell? I spun around to stare at him. All he’d said was my name, but the enunciation was so bizarre that for a moment I thought he was having a seizure or something.

Duo gazed at me, his eyes large and so dilated they were like black pools rimmed in purple. He laughed, his fingers picking absently at the fading decal on his shirt. He looked completely, utterly out of it.

“What the hell?” I blurted, despite my resolve to ignore Duo entirely. “Are you on something?”

In response, Duo sat up, fishing in his pants pocket with some difficulty. Finally, he pulled out a little plastic container and clicked it open to reveal several small, clear strips lying inside. They could’ve been anything, maybe a packet of those little breath fresheners that melt on your tongue. They might have been completely harmless. This being Duo, however, I knew better.

“You’re high,” I muttered. “Of course.” Never mind that it was four in the afternoon, and most of us had midterms and papers to worry about, and that it was Wednesday.

“Acid, man,” he drawled, obviously very proud of himself. “Tab and a half. I am tripping _balls_.”

I turned back to my computer and attempted to focus on my work.

“I mean, this room is going green and red and your hair is–”

“Can you do this somewhere else?” I interrupted. I wasn’t in a very good mood, and my present company was sure to only make things worse. Duo Maxwell was definitely bad for my health.

“ – And your hair is, like, it’s... what? You writing a paper or somethin’?”

“Yes. I’m busy.” _Go away._

“Heero.” He sounded very serious. “I can’t be alone right now. I know you’re like, Mr. Perfect I-Don’t-Even-Drink or whatever, but you gotta understand I have to have some company for this trip, or it’s gonna be rough.”

‘Mr. Perfect I-Don’t-Even-Drink?’ What did I ever do to this guy? I implored to someone, maybe God, whoever was responsible. We weren’t even friends. Why was he bothering _me_ with his stoner bullshit?

“Why don’t you go spend time with Quatre instead.” His roommate seemed much more accommodating toward his brand of attention-seeking behavior than I could ever be.

Duo laughed. “Quatre is at class until five-thirty. Besides... Quatre’s not you.”

Despite all my resolve, Duo has a great way of surprising me into paying attention to him. I whirled around again at his last comment and found him watching me in quiet observation. For a moment he looked serious, then his mouth curled into a languid smile.

“Your eyes are like thirty million colors. And there’s a halo around your head.”

I sighed. Maybe a different approach would be effective. “Listen, Duo, I really have to write this paper. I can’t–” – _I can’t babysit you_ , I wanted to say, but I was trying diplomacy– “I can’t give you my undivided attention right now.”

“Due tomorrow?”

“No, but–”

“– So ditch it, man. I’m asking you for a... huuuuge... favor here.” Duo’s eyes traced some unseen pattern on the blank ceiling. “I asked the drugs where I should go, and they told me I had to come here. Know what I mean?”

No, I didn’t have any idea what he was talking about. Was this one of those experiences that were only possible through living in a dorm? If so, I think they lied to me at orientation when they said these would be moments to cherish forever. “Duo, I–”

“Please, man. Look, Q-ball comes back in an hour and a half. Stay with me until then, and if I really bug you and you can’t stand me, I’ll go back to my room and hang with him.”

“An hour and a half?” I gave my word processor a long, mournful gaze. Short of picking Duo up and carrying him out, I couldn’t see any other way he’d agree to get lost. Sighing, I saved my work and closed my laptop.

“Fine.”

“Oh man, you’re an angel!” Duo cried. His eyes went wide. “No really, dude, you’re an angel. There are wings growing out of your back.”

“So what happens when you take LSD?” I ventured, though I suppose Duo’s behavior was plenty of indication already. In any case, I reasoned I could at least get some intellectual value out of this experience.

Duo smiled and leaned back on my bed. “It depends, Heeeero. It’s like, you open your consciousness and you let whatever is out there come and enlighten you. Sometimes, it’s like, scary or really confusing. Sometimes, it’s like total clarity.”

“You do this a lot?”

“Just a couple of times.” He shrugged. “Listen, Heero, I know you think that I’m a big druggie loser, but I think we could be friends if you gave it a shot.”

He noticed my smirk before I could hide it. “Woahhhh, I made you smile. I don’t know how, but that’s a start.”

“I just think it’s funny that you’re high on LSD in my room and complaining that I think you’re a big druggie loser.”

“Heeero, you’re really mean sometimes, you know?” He rolled onto his back and stared at me upside-down. “You really don’t drink, do you?”

I shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”

“You should loosen up a little. You’ll never get laid with that attitude, man.” His eyes danced around the room. “I think I had this conversation with you in a dream last night. Weird, huh? Maybe we have the power to manifest our dreams in reality.”

“Uh-huh,” I muttered, not exactly interested in the tangents of a stoner’s thought processes.

“Or maybe it’s just that I have so many dreams about you one or two of them are bound to come true,” he continued. “Anyway, guess I’ll never know.”

“Yeah, guess not... _what_?”

“Nothing, man.” He rolled over again and pulled some of the bedcovers along for the ride. “Look, like I was saying, we ought to introduce ourselves. Can’t be friends unless we do, right?”

“I really don’t–”

“I’m Duo Maxwell,” he continued, oblivious. He grinned widely. “I may run and hide but I never tell a lie. That’s me in a nutshell.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Whatever you want!” he replied, laughing at his own non-joke. “Your turn.”

“This is really–”

“Your turn, Heero Yuy!”

“Do I have to make up a stupid slogan too?”

“If you want. I can make one up for you, too. ‘My name is Heero Yuy and I have angel wings and a demon tail growing out of my back.’”

“You’re seeing some really bizarre hallucinations,” I noted.

“Yeah, I guess if I wasn’t so fucked up already they’d be really messing with my head right now.” My comforter was sliding off the sheets the way Duo was rolling around on my bed. I had the feeling the entire room would look like a hurricane after he was finished with it.

“Are you going to introduce yourself or am I going to do it for you?” He groused.

“I don’t care.”

“Okay then, here goes: Heero Yuy, age nineteen, likes computers and classical music–”

“I hate classical music,” I pointed out.

“Shut up, this is my introduction! Heero Yuy likes classical music, hates controlled substances, vegetables, blondes, brunettes, redheads... but he _looooves_ Duo Maxwell.” Duo suddenly sat straight up, dilated eyes wide, as if he’d been imparted a great secret. “Ooh, Heero, you do?”

“Oh shut up, Duo. This is ridiculous.”

“Now you’re just being shy...”

“You’re so funny, Duo. I’m dying.”

“You know, I would’ve never pegged you for gay.”

“I’m not! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“What?” Duo grinned ear to ear, obviously enjoying my exasperation tremendously. “There’s no reason to be ashamed about confessing your love to me.”

He looked so serious that I thought he might have convinced himself, in his drug-addled stupor, that I actually had.

“Duo, I’m not in love with you.” I wanted to add ‘ _You’re actually really annoying_ ’ but something stopped me– maybe more diplomacy? _That_ plan was really starting to backfire. “I don’t even know you.”

“No problem!” He cried, and then he was off the bed and was leaning down over me, lightning fast. “If that’s all that’s standing in the way of our great love affair, I’ll gladly tell you all about myself.”

What the hell was he doing? I wondered. And once again, I implored whoever was responsible to tell me just what I had done to deserve this. Duo’s face was inches away, his glassy eyes surprisingly focused on mine. I was sure he was going to do something crazy, like kiss me. My palms on the armrests were clammy and my mouth was dry. Thank god I didn’t blush easily, at least. Duo’s eyes bored deeply into mine for a moment, then he was pulling me to my feet with unexpected strength.

“Come on, let’s go outside,” he said brightly, one arm slung over my shoulder. “I’ve still got a full hour of your time, anyway. Let’s see what four-thirty in the afternoon looks like.”

I grabbed my keys off the desk as Duo hustled me out of the room. Part of me was still wondering why I was going along with this. I guess the rest of me just wanted to see what Duo was going to do next.

He dragged us out of the dormitory and into the warm Fall afternoon. “Let’s go to the park,” he said in a conspiratorial whisper. “I wanna see the Washington Monument. Maybe the Lincoln Memorial too, if I remember.”

I had to steer him in the right direction to get to the park, as he immediately staggered off heading up twenty-first street and would’ve probably gone all the way to Dupont Circle without realizing. The park was a quick walk off-campus, probably a good thing since Duo felt the need to stop and say hello to every UPD officer we passed.

“Come on, I know a really great spot,” he said, pulling me into the park, past tourists and other students, his path meandering through bushes and trees. I was sure we were going to end up in the middle of nowhere with Duo forgetting where he was going halfway. I was pretty surprised when we actually arrived somewhere and not even by accident.

“Ta-da!” Duo exclaimed, spreading his arms wide. “I come here all the time. Not always high, either. Though it is good high. Better. Best.”

He’d found a little hideaway, protected by trees and surrounded on one side by a shallow reflecting pool. The area itself was littered with acorns and leaves and didn’t even have benches for us to sit on, but the view was spectacular. Before us, the Washington Monument rose magnificently skyward, reflected as a thin white shimmer across the dark water. Every so often, the movement of a passing duck would cause the image to swirl outwards and away, rippling across the surface of the pool before collecting itself again.

“I’m so glad we’re the only ones here today.” He turned to me, smiling widely. “Isn’t this place great?”

“Yeah,” I agreed. I really meant it, too. “It’s really beautiful.”

“I wanted to impress you,” he continued, giving me another look before flopping down on the grass. “Ohhh man, the visuals are amazing out here.”

I took a seat beside him, gazing out at the monument, a towering white monolith that stretched into the sky above us. The man-made lake was bordered by clean, cut grass and weeping willows that bent elegantly toward the water. Duo hummed some tuneless song to himself, his gaze fixed on the monument soaring above our heads.

“What does it look like?” I asked before I could stop myself.

“It looks like...” He paused a moment, considering. “It looks like a giant robot, with big metal wings and, like, a fucking sword–”

I smirked. “You’re out of your mind.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I’m just making all that shit up.” He curled his arms up under his head. “To be honest, it just looks like the Washington Monument, only the edges are kind of blurry.” He turned to me and smiled. “You don’t just start hallucinating shit with acid, you know.”

The grin he wore looked good, I decided suddenly. Flustered, I eagerly picked up the topic. “No, I don’t know. I thought you were hallucinating in my room when you said I had angel wings and a halo.”

“Well... what I meant was, the light from the laptop was all fuzzy and curling around your head, and it looked like a halo. And from there, well, the wings just seemed to fit.”

“You made it up?”

“Nah, more like, acid makes you more suggestible. Maybe I saw some blurry shit and I thought ‘hey, that looks like angel wings’, then it’s really easy to just imagine the shapes as wings.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah, basically. I mean, you see lights and patterns and shit, too...”

“So I guess all that stuff about flashbacks and people ending up in mental hospitals–”

“Yeah, man, that’s stuff’s made up,” Duo laughed. “About the worse thing that’s ever happened to me is I said some pretty embarrassing shit about myself. And I cried on ‘shrooms but that happens to everyone.”

I didn’t quite believe him, but he seemed lucid enough, after all. Okay, more like he had moments of lucidity in a general haze of absurdity.

“Hey, Heeero.”

“If you say my name like that one more time, I’m going to throw you into the reflecting pool.”

“Sorry.” His smile faltered slightly. “Look, uh... I’m sorry for dragging you out here and interrupting your homework and shit.”

“You’re sorry _now_?” I asked, incredulous. “You seemed to have no problem doing it before.”

“Yeah, well...” He pulled his arm out from behind his head to brush his bangs out of his eyes. “I’m thinking about it now and I guess I was kind of a jerk.”

This was so unlike the Duo Maxwell I knew that I was sure it was drug-induced. Regardless, I shrugged and gave him the closest thing to a reassuring smile I could manage. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad I came out here with you instead of staying inside.”

I realized, as I saw Duo’s face light up at my response, that I had really meant it. Quite a change of heart, I mused to myself. It seemed that Duo had a way of growing on you.

I turned away from Duo and back toward the Washington Monument, wondering just how much imagination it would take to see it as a winged robot. For several minutes, we sat silently together. Then, I felt a warmth, a smooth caress over my hand, and I realized belatedly that Duo had slid his hand over the back of mine. His fingers curled loosely into my palm and stayed there.

“You know, a guy could really fall for you,” he muttered, barely audible.

My throat was suddenly dry, my voice a whisper too. “What?”

“Nothing,” he said quickly. “Blame it on the drugs.” But he didn’t move his hand. And neither did I.

It was nearly an hour later that we finally decided it was time to go back. Duo announced that he was ‘coming down’ and would be ‘crashing’ soon. I deduced from this jargon that he was going to fall asleep, and I agreed it would probably be better if he passed out inside the dorm rather than the park. The walk home was quiet; Duo’s hand was back in his pocket and he made no attempt to reach for mine.

I swiped my card to unlock the dormitory door, letting Duo slip in before me. We reached my room before Duo’s, and as I turned to unlock my door, I saw Duo glance at me out of the corner of my eye before he started down the hallway to his own room.

“Duo,” I said, quickly, before I gave myself a chance to overthink my decision.

He turned, and though his focus wasn’t exactly back to normal, the hopeful look in his eyes was impossible to mistake.

“If... if you don’t mind the light from the laptop, you can crash in my room.”

“Heero...” He narrowed his eyes a little, making a show of sizing up my offer. “You know, I think I was right about you.”

“Right about what?” I narrowed my eyes in turn. To this, Duo just laughed.

“Nothing, man, nothing,” he replied, following me as I unlocked the door and stepped inside. Still a little unsteady on his feet, he collapsed onto my bed and rolled around, the sheets that had remained intact from his earlier escapade now sliding to the floor in defeat. Coverless, Duo nevertheless sunk quickly into contented sleep. His back to me, his braid curled out behind him. Duo might have been able to conjure angel wings and a halo for me with the help of the LSD, but all it took for me was a little imagination to picture that braid as a forked demon’s tail for Duo.

I booted up my laptop with a slight sigh and set around to finishing my paper, trying to focus my attention on my work and not on the strange, insane, intriguing devil behind me.

Somewhere, though, in the back of my mind, I had a fleeting, momentary thought that I quickly shooed out of my head before I let it settle: maybe next time I wouldn’t need the help of drugs to get Duo in my bed.


End file.
